Clarification...

My kids annoy the crap out of me. They exhaust me and are absolutely 100% crazy. I sometimes feel like a zoo keeper dealing with monkeys tripping on PCP. I have never met anyone who was able to drive me to the levels of insanity my children do. That's their job. You probably feel the same way about your kids. If you don't then you're either lying or in complete denial. But. Despite all their misbehavior & crazy antics, I love them with an intense, all-consuming love. And I will go to great lengths to protect them. Great, criminal-like lengths. To be clear, I will destroy you if you hurt my child. I will bring down a wrath on your head that would make you look forward to death. I am totally not kidding. My children are everything to me, and I know I'm not a perfect parent, but I'm a real parent. I'm a there-every-day parent. I'm a parent who knows what ridiculous things my children do on a daily basis and can be honest that it frustrates me. But I'm a parent who isn't going to let my children take a lot of shit because they have plenty of time for the world to kick their ass. I'm not going to let it happen on my watch.

Apology...

I am a horrible horrible person. First, I want it known that I would have never taken this course of action if it weren't out of necessity. I feel I need to make this confession on my blog so that everyone will have the entire truth about it and know that I did not do this terrible, terrible thing because I wanted to. I did it because I needed to. And though I do feel an enormous amount of shame and guilt, I can't take it back. In fact, I may do it again.

I bought the critter a baby leash. And I used it.