Good ol' Green Eyes......

Have you ever had one of those days where all you can think about is people you knew or know who are so much more successful in life? Ever had a day where you felt so completely inadequate and useless you could crawl under a rock? Ugh. I'm so having one of those days. The crazy part is I don't even know why! We have a good life! My husband and I work very hard and have things pretty good. We don't have financial worries at this time, we've made leaps and bounds with the grlz and in our marriage. We are involved in a great church and have friends now who are wonderful additions to our lives. But. Every now and then I see or talk to someone who took a different route with their life and became very successful. And it kills me. I don't know why. Probably really needless and immature of me but at least I'm freaking honest about it! I don't think its really a jealousy thing. I'm not feeling inadequate and wishing I had what they had. I think it's maybe more of a what-if ache. What if I waited to have kids. What if I finished school in a timely manner. What if I chose school and responsibility over partying and self-abuse. Would I have been successful in other ways and been happy? Or would I then have known the people I do with families and felt the ache of inadequacy then. Maybe I should quit worrying about it and get back to my life. Be grateful for the wonderfully crazy way things have turned out and go with the flow more. If I could quit thinking once in awhile things might be a lot calmer.